Vol 14 Issue 26 ~ Editor: Rev. Fr. Courtney Edward KrierJune 26, 2021 ~ Saints John and Paul, opn!
1. What is the Holy Eucharist
2. Fifth Sunday after Pentecost
3. Saint George Mtasmindeli
4. Family and Marriage
5. Articles and notices
Dear Reader:
In the Conciliar Church there is an argument going on regarding pro-abortion politicians receiving communion in their Novus Ordo services. As many conservative Conciliar Catholics (about a third) still believe it is the Body and Blood of Christ in the Eucharist, there is a membership and monetary consequence in the Conciliar bishops making a decision on denying communion to pro-abortion politicians, a decision based not on faith, but loss of membership and money: declare it can be received by pro-abortion politicians and the conservative members might just leave the Conciliar Church or stop donating (and statistically it is the conservative minority that attends services and supports this Conciliar Church not the liberal majority); declare it cannot be received by pro-abortion politicians and the media campaign and law suits against them will intensify for misogyny, denial of tax-exemption, and divisiveness.
The President’s entourage had originally requested for Biden to attend Mass with the pope early in the morning, but the proposal was nixed by the Vatican after considering the impact that Biden receiving Holy Communion from the pope would have . . . (https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/247997/update-meeting-between-pope-francis-and-president-biden-did-not-happen)
The American hierarchy has to weigh this even though Bergoglio has signaled that pro-abortion politicians should be permitted to receive communion. For faithful Catholics one does not need to weigh the arguments, it is clear: non-Catholics cannot receive Holy Communion and Catholics must be in the state of grace to receive worthily.
As for Bergoglio, referencing this argument, he took a Protestant line and said on June 6, 2021, that communion “is not the reward of saints, but the bread of sinners.” (https://www.ncronline.org/news/spirituality/pope-eucharist-bread-sinners-not-reward-saints) As simply bread—not the Bread of Angels, the Bread from Heaven—one could say that one could not let someone starve and therefore give bread to even sinners; but one cannot say the Body of Christ is the bread of sinners. And here is the point one must ask: Is the Holy Eucharist mere bread that is shared at a common meal, or is it the Body and Blood of Christ in which, as Saint Paul writes: he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh judgment to himself, not discerning the body of the Lord?(1 Cor. 11:29) Seemingly Bergoglio does not believe it is the true Body and Blood of Christ as also the majority of the members of his Church. Rather he sees it as a sign of brotherhood and denying is disrupting the common brotherhood of mankind and why he has no problem giving the bread to non-Catholics. Contrary, the true unity is not in the brotherhood of man, but in the members of the Mystical Body of Christ, where Christ is one and the living members all share in the life of Christ and must have His life to participate.
Abortion is murder, it deprives the soul of Christ’s life, separates the person from the Mystical Body of Christ—and therefore causes dis-unity. Only the grace of repentance and confession can reunite what was once dead to become alive (cf. Luke 15:32). Those who participate in the murder of another are guilty of the same crime. When Henry III asked, even indirectly, that Thomas Becket be slain, that guilt was placed upon Henry III for his murder and Henry III was forced to confess and do penance. To not demand the same of the one who commands and funds abortions to be performed by the stroke of a pen is to deny that abortion is murder, that God has the right over life and death, that the child in the womb is a human being from the first moment of conception and thereby also denying the Incarnation and the Immaculate Conception—which a Catholic must believe or one is not a Catholic according to Her Faith. This is why even conservative Conciliar Catholics find themselves forced to object to the Conciliar politicians who elect to deny absolutely anything of faith and publicly promote anti-Catholic doctrine being given a sign that are good members of their Church: if it doesn’t matter what one believes then the Church, based on belief, doesn’t matter! And, for Conciliar conservative Catholics, the Church still matters: Biden’s support for abortion rights has often been in the spotlight since it’s at odds with some leaders of the Catholic Church. Biden has been open about his devotion to his Catholic faith and attends Mass most weekends. (https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/558343-vatican-warns-bishops-not-to-deny-communion-to-biden-politicians-over)
One must pray for these Conciliar conservative Catholics that they receive the light needed to see the darkness the Conciliar Church has fallen into and return to the source of light, the fulness of faith in the Communities of faithful Catholics who reject any admixture of error in their Catholic faith.
Those who say the issue is only a political weapon do not feel that the earth is crying to heaven for vengeance as Abel’s blood as they reply: Am I my brother’s keeper? (cf. Gen. 4:10, 9) It shows that charity has grown cold (cf. Matt. 24:12) in these blind and leaders of the blind (cf. Matt. 15:14). This is made clear in another article:
And in May, his top doctrinal official, Cardinal Luis Ladaria, penned a stern letter to American bishops, warning them to tread carefully about the subject.”
In the letter, Ladaria complicated the bishops’ plans by questioning their identification of abortion as “the preeminent” moral issue and pushing for an impossible unanimous vote on the matter. Anything less, he cautioned, could make the administration of church’s holiest sacrament “a source of discord rather than unity within the episcopate and the larger church in the United States.” . . .
“The concern in the Vatican,” according to Antonio Spadaro, a Jesuit priest and close ally of Francis, “is not to use access to the Eucharist as a political weapon.” (https://www.theblaze.com/news/vatican-warns-us-bishops-not-to-deny-biden-communion)
There is only one Church, there is only one faith, there is only one Sacrifice and to accept even two is to become non-Catholic—in the Conciliar Church there are many.
As always, enjoy the readings provided for your benefit.—The Editor
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WHAT IS THE HOLY EUCHARIST
By Rev. Courtney Edward Krier
II
The Holy Eucharist is a True Sacrifice
An Explanation of Holy Mass
Part 2
The Mass of the Faithful
The Placeat:
May the performance of my homage be pleasing to Thee, O Holy Trinity; and grant that the sacrifice which I, though unworthy, have offered up in the sight of Thy Majesty, may be acceptable to Thee, and may, through Thy mercy, be a propitiation for myself and all those for whom I have offered it. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
The priest is human and it remains always before him in acknowledging his dependence on God’s grace.
Impressed with the consciousness of his frailty, sinfulness, and unworthiness, the priest first implores that the sacrifice offered by him and the homage of profound submission thereby rendered may be graciously accepted by the Holy Trinity; he then begs that, in consequence of the divine pleasure taken in the sacrifice and in virtue of the divine mercy, reconciliation and grace may flow from the altar to all for whom it was offered. In order to understand the last petition, it is to be remarked that God does not always impart at once all the sacrificial fruits after the accomplishment of the act of sacrifice, but many of them He frequently bestows at a later period, when, where, and as it pleases Him, in conformity with the impenetrable designs of His wise and merciful providence. (Gihr, 803)
The faithful should pray for the priest at this moment because it was through him the Sacrifice of the Mass was offered and it is his prayer he is now presenting that the Mass he offered obtains that for which it was instituted: true adoration, just reparation, heartfelt thanksgiving and the petitioned salvation with the graces needed to persevere.
As though to reward the faithful for their prayer for him and their participation at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, the priest again kisses the altar and says, while raising his eyes and hands toward heaven and as though encompassing all he then joining his hands: Benedicat vos omnipotens Deus—May Almighty God bless you. He then turns to the faithful and says while making the sign of the Cross over them: The Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost. The server replies for the people: Amen.
The frequent kissing of the altar, symbolic of Christ, is a sign of reverence, a sign of reconciliation, a sign of friendship. Judas betrayed Christ with a kiss: And Jesus said to him: Judas, dost thou betray the Son of man with a kiss? (Luke 22:48) Yet, it is something Christ desired when He said to Simon the Pharisee: Thou gavest me no kiss; but she, since she came in, hath not ceased to kiss my feet. (Luke 7:45) The priest, in humility, therefore, finds it a comfort to kiss the altar in reparation for Judas’ betrayal and in friendship knowing that Christ had said: I will not now call you servants: for the servant knoweth not what his lord doth. But I have called you friends: because all things whatsoever I have heard of my Father, I have made known to you. (John 15:15) Therefore the kiss expresses that friendship between Christ and the priest, that love that Christ wants from the priest and that love the priest is to return, knowing: Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)
The blessing here brings to the Christian mind Christ ascending into heaven; for one reads: He led them out as far as Bethania: and lifting up his hands, he blessed them. And it came to pass, whilst he blessed them, he departed from them, and was carried up to heaven. (Luke 24:50-51) It is having received His blessing that the words are to be fulfilled: Then shall the king say to them that shall be on his right hand: Come, ye blessed of my Father, possess you the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. (Matt. 25:34)
Since already here on earth God has showered upon us His blessings and in eternity will make us happy with the infinite plenitude of His blessing, we also, as the favored children of the heavenly Father, should shed blessings around us. Compassionate and active love of our neighbor, mercy and benevolence, goodness and friendliness, should be reflected in our whole life, so that whatever we do may be upright and noble, and consolation and happiness, peace and joy may enter into the hearts of all those around us. We should spend our life on earth doing good. As the apostles, after receiving the blessing on the Mount of Olives, “went back into Jerusalem with great joy, . . . praising and blessing God,” (Luke 24: 52 f.), so should we, filled with holy joy, return to our daily occupations; and our life, sufferings, labors, prayers, and joys should thenceforth be an uninterrupted praise of God and a perpetual thanksgiving for the ineffable riches of the sacrificial blessing which has been bestowed so undeservedly upon us. (Gihr, 808-809)
The mysteries of redemption fulfilled, the blessing imparted to the faithful, the priest turns to the Gospel side to read the Last Gospel. Pope Pius V prescribed that the Chapter 1, verses 1-14 of the Gospel of Saint John be read after Mass. The Mystery of the Incarnation of the Son of God is central to all creation. With Original Sin, all the Old Testament waited for the Incarnation, for the Messias to come. With the Incarnation, all the New Testament bathes in the Incarnation of Jesus Christ, Who is the Way, the Truth and the Life. (Cf. John 14:6) The dating of time is based on the Incarnation of the Eternal Word: Ante Christi (Before Christ) and Anno Domini (In the year of the Lord).
The profound, magnificent contents of St. John’s Gospel are in most beautiful harmony with the mysteries of faith celebrated on the altar. All the rays of revelation scattered in the Holy Books regarding Jesus Christ, are here found gathered into a focus. The virginal Evangelist announces, in his majestic flight, the eternal divinity of the Son; he calls Him the Creator of the universe, he exalts Him as the uncreated Light and Life, as well as the Source of all supernatural light and life, that is, as the Author of the order of grace. He then declares His incarnation and magnifies the Incarnate as the only-begotten Son of the Father, in whom the glory of the divinity, the fullness of truth and grace, appeared visibly to man. This Gospel, therefore, depicts the divinity and the divine efficacy of Jesus Christ; it shows in what manner all the blessings of creation and redemption proceed from Him. It may also be appropriately applied to the Eucharistic Saviour; for the sacrifice and the Sacrament of the altar is truly a memorial of all the mysteries of the Incarnate Word. To the eye of faith, the glory of His divinity is revealed on the altar under foreign appearances; thence He pours out light and life, truth and grace into all susceptible hearts. But on the altar the world and darkness do not recognize Him; many do not receive Him; hence they do not become children of God, but remain in the shadow and night of death. (Gihr, 810)
Everyone kneels at the words: Et Verbum caro factum est—and the Word was made Flesh. Jesus Christ is the visible Word, visible Wisdom, visible Truth—and deigned to dwell on earth to show humanity the nature of God because He is God made visible. As was said in the Nicene Creed: God of God, light of light, true God of true God. And with God all things are possible (cf. Matt. 19:26) so the Sacrifice of the Body and Blood of Christ, under the appearances of Bread and Wine is made possible and able to reconcile mankind with God, as saint Paul writes to the Colossians: And through him to reconcile all things unto himself, making peace through the blood of his cross, both as to the things that are on earth, and the things that are in heaven. (Col. 1:20)
The priest now goes to the center, bows to the cross or the Blessed Sacrament and descends and kneels on the first altar step to say the Prayers after Low Mass. These prayers were ordered by Pope Leo XIII in 1884. Pope Saint Pius X added the invocations to the Sacred Heart on June 17, 1904. Pope Pius XI, on June 30, 1930, ordered that they be said for the Christians of Russia, for their freedom and protection. With the Vatican II and the collapse of the Soviet Union, priests continue to say the prayers after Mass but not necessarily addressing the Christians in Russia, but the crisis of the Church.
Ascending the steps again, the priest takes the Chalice, bows to the Cross or the Blessed Sacrament, and returning to the foot of the altar, he genuflects to the Blessed Sacrament if present or bows to the Cross, places his biretta on his head and precedes to the Sacristy to unvest and make his thanksgiving.
(Concluded)
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The Sunday Sermons of the Great Fathers
M. F. Toal
THE GOSPEL OF THE SUNDAY
MATTHEW V. 20-24
At that time: Jesus said to His Disciples: Unless your justice abound more than that of the Scribes and Pharisees, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. You have heard that it was said to them of old: Thou shalt not kill: And whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgement. But I say to you, that whosoever is angry with his brother, shall be in danger of the judgement. And whosoever shall say to his Brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council. And whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. If therefore thou offer thy gift at the altar, and there thou remember that thy brother hath anything against thee; leave there thy offering before the altar, and go first to be reconciled to thy brother; and then coming thou shalt offer thy gift.
I. ST EPHRAIM, CONFESSOR AND DOCTOR
Charity and Forgiveness3
MATTHEW xi. 29, 30
Well did the Lord say that My burden is light. For what burden is it, what labour, to forgive a brother his offences against us? It is light indeed, it is as nothing, that we should of our own will pardon and forget, and be ourselves immediately held as just. He has not said to us: Offer me riches, or calves, or kids, or a fast, or a vigil, so that you may not be able to say, I have not such things, I cannot do such things. But that which is light and easy, and quickly done; this He commands us to do, saying to us: Let you forgive your brother his faults against you, and I shall forgive you yours against Me. You condone small offences, little debts, a few pence, a few shillings: but I am forgiving you to the extent of six hundred talents of silver. And you only forgive something; you give away nothing that is yours. But I both grant you forgiveness, and at the same time give you healing of soul, and a kingdom. And then I accept your gift, as soon as you have become reconciled to your enemy, when you cherish no hatred against anyone, when the sun has not gone down upon your wrath, when there is peace and charity in you towards all men, then your prayer is heard, then your offering is pleasing and acceptable to God, your house is blessed, and you are blessed.
If however you will not be reconciled to your brother, how can you seek forgiveness and pardon from Me? You let My words fall to the ground as it were, and you look for forgiveness? And I Who am your Lord, I command you and you do not listen to Me; and you who are a servant, how can you dare to come and offer prayer to Me, to offer sacrifices and first-fruits, while you are cherishing enmity in your heart against another? For just as you turn away your face from your brother, so shall I turn away My eyes from your prayers and from your offerings.
Again I ask of you, Brethren, since God is love, and since what is done without love is not pleasing to God, how then shall God receive the prayers, the offerings, the first-fruits, or the good works of a murderer, unless he repents as he should? But you will say: I am no murderer. I shall show that you are, or rather John the Divine will put it clearly to you; for he says: Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer (I Jn. iii. 15). It remains therefore that we are to hold nothing above charity; that nothing whatsoever is to be preferred before the possession of charity. And let us have nothing against another, nor render evil for evil, nor let the sun go down upon our anger. But let us forgive everything that has been done against us, and let us procure for ourselves that charity which covereth a multitude of sins (I Pet. iv. 8).
For what does it profit us, My Sons, to possess all things, and to be without this life-giving and saving charity? It would be just as if you had prepared a great feast, and had invited kings and great persons, and had omitted nothing that was wanting to the feast; but there was no salt: could anyone be pleased with a meal of that kind? Far from it. And what is more you will have suffered loss because of it: for you lose not alone your toil and trouble, but you have been shamed in the presence of those you invited. And this is how it is here; for all your labour is in vain and without profit, if you have not charity, without which whatever the good work or deed you do remains unsanctified; even though the one who does them may lay claim to virginity, even though he fasts, or keeps watch in the night, though he gives shelter to the poor, though he is seen to offer gifts to God, or first-fruits, or to do good works, even though he should build a church, or do any other kind of good work short of possessing charity, all these will be held as nothing to Him by God: for without charity there is nothing in them that is pleasing to the Lord.
Hear the Apostle speaking of this: If I should speak with the tongues of men and of angels, if I should have prophecy and should know all mysteries, and if I should have all faith, so that I couid remove mountains, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing (I Cor. xiii). For he who nourishes enmity against a brother, and nevertheless is seen to offer something to God, it is as though he were sacrificing a dog, or offering the price of a harlot (cf. Is. lxvi. 1; Prov. vi. 26). Beware then of ever offering anything to God without charity; since charity covereth a multitude of sins.
O! of how many good things, of what joy are we deprived when we are without charity? Judas scorned it, and he left the company of the Apostles. Abandoning the True Light, His own Master, hating his brethren, he walked out into the darkness. Because of this Peter, the Prince of the Apostles, says: Judas hath by transgression fallen, that he might go to his own place (Acts i. 25). And again John the Divine: He that hateth his brother, he says, is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not where he goeth; because the darkness hath blinded his eyes (I Jn. ii. 11).
But should you say: Even though I do not love my neighbour, I do love God, the same John will contradict you, where he says: If any man say, I love God, and hateth his brother; he is a liar. For he that loveth not his brother, whom he seeth, how can he love God, whom he seeth not (I Jn. iv. 20)? He therefore who loves his neighbour, and is at enmity with no one, if he fulfils the words of the Apostle, Let not the sun go down upon your anger, he truly loves God, and is a true disciple of Christ; Who has said: By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one for another (Jn. xiii. 35).
It is very clear, therefore, that in no other way are you seen to be disciples of Christ except by the practice of true charity. For he who hates his brother, and thinks to himself that he loves Christ, is a liar, and deceives himself For the Apostle John tells us: And this commandment we have from God, that he who loveth God, love also his brother (I Jn. iv. 21). And again the Lord says: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God, and thy neighbour as thyself (Mt. xxii. 37, 39). And desiring to show us the power of this love He declares: On these two commandments dependeth the whole law and the prophets.
O rare and wondrous thing! That he who has true charity fulfils the whole of the Law; for love is the fulfilling of the law (Rom. xiii. 10) according to the Apostle. O incomparable power of charity! O immense power of charity! There is nothing in heaven or on earth that surpasses charity. And because of this Paul the Apostle, since he had learned that there is nothing more perfect than charity, instructing us, declares: Brethren, owe no man anything, but to love one another (Rom. xiii. 8); and lay down your lives for one another; for it is in this that charity consists, the chief of all the virtues, and their salt.
Charity is the fulfilment of the Law; charity is certain salvation. It dwelt in the heart of Abel from the beginning. It ruled in Noah’s heart. It clothed the patriarchs as with a garment. Charity made of David a dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. Charity placed a tabernacle in the midst of the prophets (Lev. xxvi. 11). It was charity sustained Job. And why should I not speak of greater things? It is this that compelled the Son of God to come down to us from heaven: He Who though free of flesh took upon Him our body. He Who is above time became subject to it for us; Who while Son of God became Son of man. Through charity all things serve for our salvation. Through charity death was overcome, the power of hell broken, Adam recalled to life, and Eve restored to freedom. Through God’s love there has been made one Fold of men and angels. Through this charity the curse has been taken away, paradise reopened, Life revealed to us, and the Kingdom of heaven proclaimed. It has changed those who fished for fish into fishers of men. It was love gave strength and courage to the Martyrs in their agony. It has built cities in the wilderness, and filled mountains and caves with the sweet harmony of the Psalms.
Charity has changed men into angels. It has taught men and women alike to enter in by the narrow way. But why need I keep on spinning the thread of my discourse, keeping on about things that surpass human understanding? For who can speak the praises of charity? Not even the angels in their power, I believe, can do this. O blessed charity that has given us every good thing! O blessed charity that makes all who desire thee blessed also! Blessed and thrice blessed is the man who in a pure heart, and with a good conscience, possesses charity! (I Tim. i. 5 ).
But when you hear of this love take care that you do not understand it in an earthy bodily sense, as that which has place with feasting and revelling among those whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame (Phil. iii. 19); whose charity is confined within the limits of a single table, and whose love is an insult to God. Here friends are invited; not guests. Here the poor have no part. Here is laughter and revelry and noise; drunkenness and shame. Of these the Apostle James says: Whoever therefore will be a friend of this world, becometh an enemy of God (Jas. iv. 4). Of this charity, or mockery rather, and, let me add, which God turns away from, the Lord says that the Gentiles do the same: For if you love them that love you, what thanks will be given to you, what reward shall you have? (Mt. v. 46).
But we are not speaking of this love, we do not preach it or praise it, but that love rather which is without dissimulation, love that is blameless and free of every fault, unstained, incomparable. This charity, I say, contains within it all things, and is contained in every good work, as our Lord has taught us, saying, that a man lay down his life for his friends. For the Lord Himself has both taught this and done this, and has laid down His life for us; and not alone for his friends, but also for his enemies. For God so loved the world, as to give His only-begotten Son for us (Jn. iii. 16).
And Paul the Apostle, inflamed with this love, having this divine charity within him, has told us: The love of our neighbour worketh no evil (Rom. xiii. 10). Charity does not render evil for evil, nor give back cursing for cursing, but is ever patient, ever long-suffering, ever kind. Charity envieth not, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil, rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth with the truth. Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity of this kind never falleth away. He who is endowed with this charity is blessed: blessed in this life, and shall be blessed in the life to come.
Blessed the soul that is adorned with charity, that is not puffed up, that does not envy, that hates no one at any time, that is not repelled by the poor, that does not turn away from those in want, that does not despise the widow nor the orphan nor the stranger. He that has this charity in his soul loves not alone those who love him: for this even the heathens do: but those also who afflict him. Clothed in this charity the first martyr Stephen prayed for those who stoned him; saying, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge (Acts vii. 59). Again I say, and I shall not cease to say it: Blessed is the man who despises all things that are of the earth, and subject to corruption, and who possesses charity. The profits of charity increase with him day by day. His reward and his crown is prepared for him, paradise is opened to him, and the kingdom of heaven is bestowed on him as a gift. All the Angels proclaim him blessed. The Heavens and all Powers together praise him. The choirs of the Archangels receive him with joy and gladness. For him the heavenly gates are opened wide, and through them he enters to be brought before the throne of God, to be crowned at the right hand of God, with Whom he shall reign for ever. Who is more blessed than this man? Who more uplifted? Who more honoured? Look upwards and behold to what heights charity raises those who possess her. As the Apostle has rightly declared: we ought to owe no man anything save this alone, that we love one another (Rom. xiii. 8). For God is charity, and he that abideth in charity, abideth in God, and God in him (I Jn. iv. 16) for ever and ever. Amen.
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JUNE 27:
ST GEORGE MTASMINDELI, ABBOT (A.D. 1066)
This George, whose surname means “of the Black Mountain”, was a doctor of the Georgian (Iberian) Church. He was born in 1014, and as a young man became a disciple of a monk well known for the holiness of his life, Hilarion Tvaleti ; afterwards he lived as a hermit in Syria. St George Mtasmindeli’s fame rested on his writings and translations into the Iberian language, notably treatises on “The Months” and “The Fasts” and his revision of the biblical translations made by St Euthymius (May 13). In spite of such work, he spent a rather wandering life, visiting the holy places of Palestine, being for some years abbot of Iviron on Mount Athos, and living on the Black Mountain in Armenia.
A few days before his death on June 27, 1066, be is said to have replied to a question about eucharistic bread, addressed to him by the Emperor Constantine X Dukas, that, “The Greeks use leavened bread out of humility, because they have been several times stained by heresy. The Latins use unleavened bread, following the example of our Lord and St Peter, as a sign that they have kept the faith pure as Jesus Christ and His apostles taught it.” Whatever may be thought of St George’s views on the history of the use of azyme, this reply at any rate shows what he thought about events in Constantinople a dozen years earlier, when Rome’s “horrible disease” of using unleavened bread at Mass had been one of the excuses for the revolt of the Patriarch Cerularius.
(Butler’s Lives of the Saints)
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PLAIN TALKS ON MARRIAGE
FULGENCE MEYER , O.F.M.
(1954)
CHAPTER VIII.
Husband and Wife
“Let everyone of you in particular love his wife as himself: and let the wife fear her husband“
(Eph., 5, 33).
The Foe of the Home
Mention must be made, too, of the idle, gallivanting and frivolous wife, who seems to consider marriage as a title to empty enjoyment and carefree amusement. At home she feels ill at ease, and she is only happy when she has a date for a card game, a kaffeeklatsch, a dance, a show or something similar. Her own house bores and tires her and makes her nervous. Consequently it gets the least of her attention and care. It is untidy, uninviting and uncomfortable. It is a sorry place for her husband to come to after his day’s work, and a sorrier place for him to live in when she constrains herself to keep him company. The meals are everything they should not be in the way of selection and preparation and service. The children, if there are any, are poorly cared for, they are unkempt and unclean, shabbily dressed, ill-trained and ill-mannered.
His home being the very opposite to what it ought to be, no wonder if the husband loathes it, and is eager to get away and stay away from it; and if he grows cold to, and conceives a dislike for her who turns into a place of pain and agony, what to him should be nothing but a harbor of pleasure and repose.
To keep her home in order, to rear her children properly, to prepare good and tasty meals constitute a job so big, that it requires practically all of a woman’s time and attention to meet it squarely and satisfactorily. And if she so meets it, the very discharge of this arduous but sublime office as wife, mother and homekeeper, will also represent the source of her most solid earthly happiness and her sweetest personal joys. These will be far superior to any thrill she could procure by always meandering about with other women to clubs, theatres and other resorts, and indulging in card and other parties at the expense of her sacred duties and solemn obligations. Everyone, also every married woman needs a certain amount of rest, recreation and diversion for her comfort and happiness; but excess in play is as bad or worse than excess in work.
Virtue and Common Sense
From all that has been said it is readily inferred, that the marriage relation, perhaps more than any other in life, enjoins upon the parties to it the observance of the wise admonition of St. Paul, which I know I am repeating at the risk of becoming monotonous: “Bear ye one another’s burdens.” On the one hand there is no natural happiness greater and sweeter than that of married life: on the other the achievement of no other earthly happiness requires more virtue and good sense. Which of these two plays the bigger part in the pursuit of marital happiness it is hard to say. Perhaps the burden is equally divided. Yet for myself I am inclined to believe that good sense is in a way more operative in regard to happiness in married life and, for that matter, to the proper upbringing of children than is even virtue. This may strike some readers as surprising, to say the least, but it is nothing else than another rendering or another application of the well-known words of St. Teresa who says, that she preferred as her confessor a priest who was prudent but not holy, to one who was holy but not prudent. More marriages are wrecked because of a lack of good common sense in one or both parties than because of a lack of virtue in both or in either. Certainly the ideal condition is to have virtue and good sense joined in amicable proportions and in a good measure in both husband and wife.
She Was Contrary
In Rome they tell the story of a couple whose marriage was stormy and, consequently, most disagreeable throughout. To the wife it finally became so unbearable that she decided to put an end to her misery by plunging from a bridge into the swollen Tiber. Her husband, being apprised of the sad news, came to the river in search of the body. When the spot of her suicide was pointed out to him he went up stream a considerable distance. They asked him why he went up stream, since the violent current had no doubt carried his wife’s corpse far down stream. “You did not know my wife,” he said archly, and not without sarcasm; “she was always contrary; and no doubt she kept the habit of it even after her death.”
It is selfish stubbornness, as a rule, on the part of the husband or wife, or both, that wrecks many marriages which, by sensible concessions and compromises on both sides, could have been rendered exceedingly and permanently happy. But because the partners to them have not the good sense and virtue to make the necessary concessions, estrangements and ruptures soon ensue, and ere long lead to an irremediable divorce.
Divorce
And since I mentioned the word “divorce”, I may as well remind my readers once more, that the marriage of Christians duly contracted, and consummated through cohabitation, can never be dissolved by any power on earth save by the death of one of the parties. Such a marriage can therefore never admit of an absolute divorce, so one or both parties are free to marry during the lifetime of the respective partner. When the public press or the current gossip bring stories of divorced people being married in the Catholic Church, the first marriage for some publicly known or hidden reason was from the beginning null and void; or, the marriage was never consummated; or in case one of the parties was a non-baptized person, the so-called Pauline privilege was invoked. At any rate, in all these cases Catholic lay people will prudently withhold any adverse comments on the event, and leave the passing of judgment to the Church, being convinced the while, that a real divorce, in the above explained sense, has never been, and is never, and can never be, granted by the Church, according to the words of Christ: “What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder” (Matt., 19, 6).
Separation from Bed and Board
For very serious and urgent reasons the Church allows to married people what is called separation from bed and board. It even permits the innocent party, when necessary, for the same grave reasons, to apply to the civil court for separate maintenance or a civil divorce, to safeguard property and other rights, with the exclusion of the possibility of another marriage, of course, as long as the respective mate lives. Yet ordinarily such a separation and, much more, such an application to the civil courts must not be undertaken without the permission of the bishop, procured either directly, or through the pastor of the party in question.
Human nature being what it is, no two characters are so well balanced, and no two dispositions are so harmoniously poised, as to fit into each other in the proximity and intimacy of married life, as husband and wife, without considerable rectification and adjustment. And all those who contemplate marriage will do well in calculating on the necessity of a great deal of rearrangement in their own individual case after they are married, no matter to whom, and in being ready for it. This will forestall many a bitter disillusionment and many a keen regret, in addition to worse eventualities. Many, if not the majority of the disappointments in married life that seriously affect its happiness develop, not because the parties are what they are found to be after marriage, but because certain exaggerated and unwarranted expectations and appraisals of them had been formed and entertained by their mates before marriage.
The fault lay not in the realistic development after marriage, but in the extravagant illusions preceding it. A young man who is flattering himself he is getting for his wife a faultless angel who will do nothing but remind him of paradise and heaven by her person and carriage; and the young lady who is sure she is marrying a perfect knight, whose one occupation after marriage will be to carry her on his hands and be at her bidding as a prince is to the fairy in the tale, are evidently too young, inexperienced and immature to launch out into the sea of matrimony, in which there are many and various treacherous cliffs to waylay and wreck their guileless and unsuspecting matrimonial craft.
Paint It Black
A Franciscan missionary bishop of China, returning to his native Religious province to recruit missionaries for his district, frankly told the Franciscan clerics in submitting his case to them that, if they had a desire to enlist for his mission, they should picture the conditions of a missionary in China as black and disagreeable as possible; and yet they could be sure that, when they got there, they would find conditions even much worse than they had pictured them. Young people contemplating marriage might do well in following the same method. Of course, they would not invariably find marriage harder than they thus pictured it: but a little sobriety in the anticipations of married life will always make for more real contentment in the reality of it.
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Father Krier will be in Pahrump (Our Lady of the Snows) on July 8. He will be in Albuquerque, New Mexico, (Saint Joseph Cupertino) on July 16 and then in Eureka, Nevada (Saint Joseph, Patron of Families), July 22.
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